By Pavan Kaushik
I was dropping my daughter in the play-school when she was just about 2.5 years old. She was my first child and as all know the daughter and father relation, I too had tears in my eyes. She was crying and here I was also too. Finally, when the teacher took her inside the school, she gave me clear instructions – “go back, leave her here, and don’t look back when you leave”.
I obeyed the teacher completely. I went back, left her in the school, and did not look back even though she was crying and shouting papa and papa. Very soon a time came when she was independently going to the play-school and managing her home-work and other activities.
That was an important lesson – sometimes looking back makes you emotional and you tend to come back, and stay. You also make people dependent on you.
When you look back you would tend to have an eye-contact and eyes speak more than words. The psychology is simple, when you leaving don’t look back, it would be difficult to leave. Be detached to emotions if you need to be strong and want to make another person also strong.
Remember when the elders in the house react when anyone goes out of the house and other member of the house just calls back? They would immediately say – “Don’t call people from the back when they are going out. Wait for them to come back.”
Similarly, when people say – “I am Leaving”, they would immediately add – “and I shall be back soon.”
You call it superstitions or black magic, but there are few things that are not written in the books but are largely followed by people from all parts of the world, irrespective of the cast, religion, region or gender.
I too have this habit when I leave home for the office. I don’t look back at the door. I just leave and sit in my car and drive. I have been doing this for many years. I don’t have any explanation to it, but I do it.
When I also drop someone at the airport or railway station or even bus-stand, once they leave, I don’t look back and see how far they have gone. I just move from there without looking back.
No superstition was invented in the large cities and towns, they all have their origin in some village in India. There is always some fairy-tail or a story attached to them and many similar incidents put together were reasons for origin of a superstition.
You can find logic in many of the superstitions. And the logic would be sometime scientifically correct also. But still you will certainly find an emotional angle to it.
We all have seen cricket matches. Notice, when a player is out, he would generally walk straight to the pavilion, without even having eye contact with his fellow player, who is standing at the wicket or the one who is replacing him from the pavilion. It would be very rare if they would exchange some gestures or some words.
It is quite true that not seeing back while leaving, also gives inner strength to handle that emotional situation. It makes you tough and for some time detaches you from the person or incident. You might give a call immediately thereafter and connect, but would not develop an eye contact. You would keep exchanging the WhatsApp messages, but still hesitate to look back and connect eyes.
We all live in this world with some scare and fear and we find new ways to overcome this fear. When we feel comfortable and satisfied by doing such actions, it becomes our practice. We polish this practice and it becomes part of our personality and then it is difficult to change.
Till today, whenever I leave anyone at the airport, I still don’t look back, though I connect immediately over phone or messages.
If you believe in this, good. If you don’t, someday you would.
About the Author
Pavan Kaushik is a veteran Communication leader. He is a able story teller.